Looking for something real

Do you remember the scene in the Wizard of Oz, when they pulled back the curtain and discovered that the Great Oz was just a normal man? Dorothy’s search for what was real – her home, because she did not feel she belonged in the land of Oz – led her to seek someone who had power to release her from the fantastical and unreal land of Oz back to reality and home.

If Dorothy was like us, she would have never left Oz to find what was real. She would have assumed that because the Great Oz was a fake, so was everything else – that the only reality was what she could see and hear, if she clung to the concept of reality at all.  She never would have reached within herself and said “there’s no place like home,” because wouldn’t that be naive?

Humans have an innate desire for the “real” (by that I mean perfect or original); we crave a reality so perfect that it is unattainable in real life. Think of a perfect Christmas. Find a picture in your mind of that of it that would fit on a postcard. Isn’t it beautiful? Yet that idealized image does not exist; it is merely a combination of all the things you most love about that holiday – the ultimate archetype of Christmas. Why would humans have a desire for perfection that no one has experienced before? It is not like the instinct to eat or have sex. Those things fall within the realm of experience and possibility. What reason is there for the craving for realness and perfection, other than that there is a reality more ultimate than flesh and blood, dirt and skies? Moreover, what evolutionary instinct would motivate us to sacrifice ourselves for other people, whose genomes ours are theoretically competing with? All of these are ideals that mankind could not have learned from instinct and experience but exist because of mankind’s yearning for the real.

Yet we debunk and “see through” the traditional morals our grandparents lived by; we disqualify any figure in history who could serve as a guide based on moral standards that we’ve already condemned as arbitrary and unkind. We have deceived ourselves into believing that our desires and our conceptions of the good are informed by instinct or cold rationality, which cannot be true.

We live in a nightmare of our own creation, one of those nightmares where you fall off something and seemingly fall into blackness forever and ever, because we are too educated and sophisticated to believe that there could be a solid foundation of bedrock at the bottom or a Someone to catch us. We cannot get our bearings as a culture because we have foolishly rejected absolute moral values and the idea of a Creator who gives purpose and life.

The mistake comes when we believe that there’s nothing real left to seek. Because we have all discovered our share of fake wizards, we pride ourselves in “seeing through” or debunking anything that presents itself as “real.” We wander around Oz, confident that what we see is all there could be, yet yearning for something more.

We can disagree about what exactly the “real” looks like – what values define it. I’m not denying that. But those arguments must come from within the system of values itself, editing or deleting a lower value in favor of a higher guiding value. The only way to make progress is to acknowledge the idea truth and ultimate reality actually exists.

But how does all this start? How does one even begin to approach the idea of absolute moral values or ultimate reality? I would suggest that the human imagination was made for just that task. Become like a child. Turn off your cynical rationality for just a moment. Then read a fairytale or a legend, one where good triumphs over evil and where the prince rescues the girl. Imagine a world where trees were more than just a lucky combination of fibers and cells and where little girls’ fantasies of fairies living in the forest are not ridiculed or merely tolerated but encouraged. Go to church with the mindset that the person talking, no matter how simple or backwards they may seem, might know something you don’t. Maybe the truth is backwards or upside down from what you have always assumed. Stop looking for functionality and search for beauty – the kind of beauty that would motivate you to sell all you have just to possess it. Then keep going, and don’t stop until you’ve found what’s real.

(If you are interested, here is some recommended reading: The Abolition of Man & The Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis; 12 Rules for Life by Jordon Peterson.)

The In-between

Today is Saturday. Easter Saturday. Of course, no one really calls it that because, for the most part, we talk about the exceedingly dark hours of Good Friday then skip over Saturday to revel in the triumph of Easter Sunday. Even Scripture is pretty quiet concerning Easter Saturday. Jesus was placed into his borrowed tomb on Friday before sundown in order to be buried before the beginning of the sabbath day, and His disciples were forced to stay put because of the rules against work or travel on the sabbath.

Imagine – having witnessed the horror of Good Friday, believing that the Messiah had been defeated, yet not being able to go anywhere or do anything about it. Grief and stillness were all that was left to the disciples. I think that Good Friday, for all it’s violence and darkness, couldn’t have compared to the despondency felt by the disciples on Saturday morning. They didn’t know the end of the story. To them, everything was settled, and the death of their leader and friend meant the death of their hope. They didn’t know that they were in an in-between. They didn’t know that, in the space between Friday and Sunday, God was completing the work of redemption for humanity.

Because God isn’t only in the dramatic moments in the Bible or in our lives – He also lives with us in the in-betweens. The times where we feel stuck and hopeless, with nowhere to turn, are when God is doing good work in our lives. The in-betweens oftentimes feel useless, like a complete waste of time, or painful and humbling, but they are necessary to God’s work in our lives. Without those times, how would we learn that God is trustworthy to fulfill His word? How would we learn to walk in faith, not according to what we see?  We want to skip over the in-between, like flipping through the pages of a romance novel from the beginning to where the guy finally gets the girl. But the in-between is really the best part, adding significance to the beginning and satisfaction to the ending. So let’s rest in the in-between this weekend as we enjoy Easter, and as we walk through this life till God leads us home. Let’s rest in the knowledge that God is doing good work in our lives, even in the in-betweens.

Where is your hope?

Hope. Hope and change. Hope of progress, “a better tomorrow.” “Make America Great Again!” Hope is constantly used in politics to convince us to give our votes and support. Why? Because at some point, politicians realized that hope is what makes humans wake up in the morning. Unlike other living creatures on earth, humans don’t wake up to live for today; they wake up to live for tomorrow. We might enjoy today, but always in the back of our minds, we are imagining an even better tomorrow.

We are hard wired to hope in something. Some people hope in themselves. They “look out for #1.” They encourage one another, saying, “Believe in yourself!” Others hope in humanity as a whole. They preach that everyone is a good person at heart and that society corrupts people, not the other way around. A small minority find hope outside themselves, in a god or higher power.

If you find your hope within yourself, watch out. You will eventually fail. You’ll make a mistake bad enough that you can’t rationalize it or make it okay after, and your world will crumble. I cannot place my hope in myself.

In the same way, I cannot place my hope in humanity. Human “goodness” is too capricious a god to serve. How can I place my hope in humans based on their merits? A human ordered the killing of 11 million other humans not 100 years ago, with the approval of an entire nation. Our politicians secure their success by sacrificing the innocent lives of the unborn. A world movement, led by ISIS and those who agree, is growing that seeks to eliminate or utterly humiliate and dominate any non-Muslims (this is according to ISIS in their magazine, not me). While people argue over what defines a girl or a boy, little girls and little boys are being sexually abused and starved in foster care. 

Where is your hope? Is it anchored in the shifting sands of human progress? Or is it tied to your perception of your own success? I would offer that both those things will only provide you misery. Put your hope in Jesus. He is the ultimate treasure and the most secure hope. He will never fail you. 

Born Again

Nicodemus asked Jesus boldly, “What does it mean to be saved?” Jesus responded, “You must be born again.” How is it, with all that has been said and done in the name of Jesus, that we are still wrestling with that question? Does being saved mean that you believe enough of the right things? What is non-negotiable in salvation? These questions lead us to bigger questions – questions that are important in terms of church leadership and doctrine. If someone believes homosexuality is not a sin, even though that doctrine is taught in both the Old and New Testaments, can they possibly be guided by the Holy Spirit?

Nicodemus didn’t have a good response to Jesus’s statement. “How can a man go back into his mother’s womb?”he asked incredulously. Jesus responded: “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.” (Jn. 3:5) Jesus went on to allude to the death He would die on the Cross for salvation. 

This new birth that Jesus told Nicodemus about has three parts: the water, the blood, and the Spirit. When a baby is born, it is born out of water and blood from its mother’s womb, but Scripture teaches us that we are spiritually dead even at birth. The new birth mirrors that event. Jesus died on the Cross, shedding blood to pay for our sin, and when he died, both blood and water poured from his side. That is why Christians are baptized, as a symbol of the cleansing water, and why Christians take Communion, as a symbol of the flesh and blood. When we trust in Jesus as our hope and salvation, we die to ourselves. Our flesh and blood becomes Christ’s flesh and blood, causing us to share in His family inheritance. Our dead spirits are brought to life. 

John the Apostle wrote about the new birth in his letter to the Church, saying:

“This is he who came by water and blood—Jesus Christ; not by the water only but by the water and the blood. And the Spirit is the one who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth.For there are three that testify: the Spirit and the water and the blood; and these three agree. If we receive the testimony of men, the testimony of God is greater, for this is the testimony of God that he has borne concerning his Son. Whoever believes in the Son of God has the testimony in himself. Whoever does not believe God has made him a liar, because he has not believed in the testimony that God has borne concerning his Son. And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.”(‭‭1 John‬ ‭5:6-12‬ ‭ESV‬‬)

Being born again means forfeiting any affection or entitlement to live in your old life. It means turning over all your thoughts and emotions to Christ and letting Him conform them to His will. So, what does it mean to be saved? And is there any doctrine that is negotiable in salvation? If we define salvation as entirely giving yourself to Jesus, there are no negotiables. This means that, whatever your opinion may be, you must surrender control of that opinion to God. It can never take precedence over the influence of the Holy Spirit in your life.

What does this mean for specific issues of contention in the Church? No Christian has all the answers, and even our language and communications are imperfect and fallen. There are some issues that we do not have a clear sign on and will have different interpretations about. In those areas, we are called to walk by faith and not by sight. However, I would be reluctant to trust anyone who lets an opinion about sexuality or anything else cause him not to take Scripture literally. The issue is more than whatever particular belief that person expresses; the central issue is the reality that the person would rather hold on to that opinion than fully surrender to Jesus. To me, that is a sign of only partial surrender, and partial surrender is no surrender. 

Salvation & Security

“(8) But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God. I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever. (9) I will thank you forever, because you have done it. I will wait for your name, for it is good, in the presence of the godly.”{Psalms 52:8-9 ESV}

In the original Hebrew, the phrase “you have done it” is one word. The connotation is that “it” is already accomplished. The next phrase, “I will wait,” is also one word in Hebrew, and its connotation is that of hope and expectation. The word for “your name” also means glory and fame. Verse 9 could be paraphrased like this:

“I am grateful forever because You have already accomplished my salvation, and I am waiting expectantly to experience Your glory because it is good in the sight of Your saints.”

The Cross has been planned for our salvation since the foundation of time, and it has always been in eternity. King David, who never saw Jesus, knew this and was secure in his salvation and expectantly waiting to enjoy God in His glory forever. When Jesus died on the Cross, it was finished on earth, but it has always been finished in eternity. 

What does this change for us? How does this understanding of time and eternity change how we perceive salvation?

1. It gives us security. If King David, who lived before Jesus died His earthly death, could be secure in his salvation, how can we doubt? David knew that the victory had been won.
2. It gives us hope. David had hope “because [God had] done it.” We don’t have hope in something that isn’t sure or might not happen. We have hope in a victory already won.

Ultimately, this hope and security changes our behavior. We strive less. We hope more. We don’t have to prove ourselves anymore. We are set free to enjoy God and glorify Him forever.

Justified

I’ve spent my whole life trying desperately to justify myself – through academics, in my relationship with my sister, in dating, and in friendships. I want to feel “worth it,” or even more, “better than ____.” Even when participating in ministry, I feel the need to justify my usefulness. In the classroom, I feel the need to justify my opinion, to make it at least acceptable to my classmates. I crave the last word. I constantly compare myself to the averages, hoping to rise above the crowd in my own estimation. My teachers called it competitiveness and encouraged it. My friends called me a know-it-all. My family called it ambition. I now call it selfishness.

Selfish. Selfish because I did good not out of joy and love for God but instead performed out of fear and anxiety. But anxiety isn’t selfish, right? Anxiety can be chemical, which requires medication, but normally it has real-life underlying causes. My anxiety became selfish when I allowed it to cause me to make decisions within relationships – decisions to use people to bolster my self-value rather than loving them from a pure heart. But why does all this matter? It doesn’t matter as long as I do the right thing in the end, right? 

People understand the Gospel in one of two ways. The first and unfortunately most common way is the understanding that the Gospel means that you believe that Jesus died for your sins then you change your behavior to align with the law and thus you are saved. The second way is life-altering; those who understand the Gospel the second way understand that first you believe that Jesus died for your sins and thus you are saved, and then because of that reality you learn to hate sin and love righteousness. You find in God that affirmation and love that is the antidote to anxious performance and selfish self-justification. Where you used to feel insignificant, incompetent, and devalued, you now feel significant to a Holy God, equipped by God for good things, and valued by God as His image-bearer and a recipient of his grace. You become fulfilled by things of God and no longer need to sin to search out fulfillment. 

Everyone who seeks God eventually has to have a defining moment, a moment in which grace breaks you. Grace is an undeserved gift from God that crushes pride yet imparts value, self-esteem, and healing from anxiety. It removes the need to justify oneself or to prove oneself.   

But to truly accept grace, I had to die to myself. I had to let go of pride, selfish ambition, and the belief that I was a good person. I had to reach a point where my pride was crushed and my heart was broken and where my mistakes overwhelmed the delusion that I could be righteous on my own merit. For Paul, it happened on the road to Damascus where he was blinded by the grace and righteousness of God on his way to execute what he believed was the law of God. For Peter, it happened when God sent him a dream commanding him to eat ceremonially unclean food, which undermined his sense of self-worth as a law-follower. 

For me, it has been gradual, like ripping off a bandaid slowly. First, I had to learn that I’m not the smartest person in the room. Next, I had to learn that not everyone was going to value a relationship with me, sometimes not at all and sometimes not to the degree I would like. Finally, I acknowledged that I had committed selfish, unjustified hurts in relationships that I could not repair. I dug my heels into the dirt the whole way, even as I was pulled irresistibly toward God’s grace. So don’t dig in your heels. Let your eyes be drawn away from yourself and toward the all surpassing worth and beauty of knowing God, made possible by His own work in the Gospel. 

Wear grace on your sleeve

If you have grown up in church or have been exposed to Christian beliefs at all, you probably understand what is morally right and what is wrong according to Scripture. However, the one thing that no one could adequately explain to me, even in Christian school and church, was how to translate moral truths over to a person who is completely unfamiliar with Christianity. One might ask, “If a person doesn’t understand she is a sinner, how will she know she needs a savior?” The truth is that everyone is looking for a savior, whether they know that or not. We are pleasure and fulfillment seeking creatures, and we were created for all-satisfying and abundant life through Jesus.  What we need to communicate to others is not our holiness over their badness, but God’s righteousness as opposed to human depravity and the life and satisfaction found in God versus the death and decadence we can provide for ourselves. 

Truly, salvation must come before morality! The first thing that has to happen before someone accepts salvation is that he must see that the choices he has made haven’t and won’t satisfy him. Secondly, he has to understand that he is “dead in his sin” {Ephesians 2:1} and cannot merit salvation. Thirdly, he has to realize the “surpassing worth of knowing Jesus” {Phil. 3:8} over his own goodness and above the feeble attempts he could make to satisfy himself through sin. 

The question remains, how do we practically, truthfully, and lovingly communicate this truth?

Boast in your weaknesses. 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” {2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭ESV‬‬}

Don’t pretend you are perfect or cover up your flaws. Be open with your struggles and how God has worked through them. Imagine trying to learn how to ride a bike by just reading a book, not ever having seen anyone ride a bike. That wouldn’t work to well, would it? People need to see how the Gospel has engaged with your problems and with your sin. A life lived openly is much more impactful than the most moving sermon ever preached. 

Go the extra mile for others. 

““You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.” {‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:38-42‬ ‭ESV‬‬}

Go above and beyond in kindness for the people in your life. Find creative ways to make the lives of others easier and happier. God extends extravagant grace, mercy, and kindness to us every second, and we should model that for others. 

Speak the truth in love.

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift. And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” {‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:1-7, 11-16‬ ‭ESV‬‬}

There is a proper context for correcting someone. First of all we are not supposed to condemn those ouside of the Church. We should not have the same standards for those who are alive in Christ as for those who are dead in sin. {1 Cor. 5:9-11} Secondly, if you are not speaking out of a motivation to help someone out of love, you are guilty of self righteousness. 

Show people where you find your satisfaction; the Christian life isn’t meant to be dreary. We deny ourselves now because of the better reward we anticipate. 

“Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.” {‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:13-17‬ ‭ESV‬‬}

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” {Hebrews‬ ‭12:1-2‬ ‭ESV‬‬}

The Christian life is not punishment; it is opportunity-cost. In Jesus, we have the assurance of having abundant life now and forever but the cost of denying ourselves lesser pleasures for the sake of one much greater. 

If you want your life to be impactful for the Kingdom of God, wear grace on your sleeve. This will require humility on your part; boasting of grace means openness about your weaknesses. Salvation is found where truth engages with brokenness, and that’s what people need to see in us. True Christianity isn’t found in a self-help guide or a theoretical book. True Christianity is found where the rubber meets the road – in everyday life and in bad thing happening to “good people.” 

when you feel like you’re not enough

We have all had that gnawing feeling, in the pits of our stomachs, after a particularly bad test grade or a bad breakup. Your work and contributions have been passed over. That relationship you worked so hard to maintain? It’s done. You have been forced to cease the frantic striving that defines your life, and now you can’t sleep. You feel like you’re just not enough.

Enter all the well-intentioned blogs and self-help guides stumbling over themselves to reassure you: “You are enough!”they scream. “Learn to meditate, eat only organic produce, and practice yoga – then we’re sure you’ll feel  better,” they say. It’s one of the most poisonous lies the world can throw at us. What all these self-help solutions really are saying is, “Oh! You feel inadequate? You must’ve not tried hard enough!”

Here’s the truth. You are not enough. (Yes, I said it.) You can never, ever be enough in your own strength. This hurts. Whenever I realize this truth (because I am never done realizing it), it undercuts my pride. But, you might ask, can’t I do all things through Christ who strengthens me? Yes, but only through Christ. Not on your own.

“For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” {Philippians 4:13}

To me, this truth is ultimately freeing. I can stop striving because Christ forgives me, justifies me, and loves me unconditionally. He will finish the good work that He started in me {Philippians 1:6}.

I was dead in my sin. I couldn’t give myself CPR. I couldn’t cry for help. “BUT GOD, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were DEAD in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved!”{Ephesians 2:4-5}

Salvation was not of my own doing. I couldn’t work hard enough to gain it and can’t ever hope to pay God back for it. Yet, oftentimes, we feel like salvation was the only free gift of the Christian life; as if God is like a cosmic loan shark up there in heaven, waiting for us to prove we were worth His investment.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” {Ephesians 2:8-10}

God does have expectations for us. He does want us to do good things and glorify Him with our lives, but all we have to do is “walk in them!” How easy does that sound? Too easy? It really feels that way sometimes.

God wants us to live lives dependent on Him. This is what glorifies Him. If you choose to be dependent on Him, He will equip you and strengthen you. If you try to do it on your own, you will end up where we’ve all been so many times before – lying in bed, heart racing, stomach churning, feeling like you just ran a marathon you never trained for. Choose to live a life dependent on God. Choose His best for you.